spilling my coffee...

My two little ones and I took a trip to the grocery store-which in itself it rather insignificant. However, I bought a few things I hadn't planned on buying and I also decided to treat myself to a coffee. Flash forward to me pushing a double stroller with a baby in the front, groceries packed into every nook and cranny available in the second seat and in the storage area below the seats, four extra grocery bags in one hand and my coffee in the other. Add this scene to the many inches of snow which has fallen recently. As I try to push the stroller through the snow, my coffee spills out of the lid. I try again slower this time...which doesn't work because there isn't enough force to push through the snow and the halting again spills my coffee. Now as I begin to push again, the top bag of the groceries tips over. Cans roll everywhere. It's like a ridiculous scene out of a ridiculous movie. Clara begins to cry because it's so cold outside. I am starting to lose my cool (if I ever had any). I pick up the items off the ground and throw them into the bag, as if to punish them. As if the canned squash gives a crap. As if the groceries took a dive just to mess with me. I finally get everything straightened out. I realize that Clara has walked herself to the door. *Mental Note: Teach her to unlock the door* The sidewalk is bumpier than the drive and there is more coffee on my hand and my coat than  in the cup now. If I hadn't paid 4 bucks for it, I would throw it across the lawn. I finally get to the door, and realize that there is a cup holder on the second seat that my coffee cup fits just perfectly in.

Nevermind. I'll fill all that empty space that's now in my coffee cup with Whiskey.

what am i thankful for?

Thanksgiving. On this day every year, we are supposed to take a look at what we are thankful for. Count our blessings. Spend time with family and friends. Blah Blah Blah. What about all the things we AREN'T thankful for? After a day filled with "I'm thankful for my family" and "I'm thankful for my kids".... I'd like to share my list of what I'm NOT thankful for.
i am NOT thankful for:

• the fourth poopy diaper in a row.
• the Tupperware blanketing my kitchen floor.
• non-washable makers.
• no room for my shows on the DVR.
• little hands pulling my pajama pants down while i'm cooking breakfast.
• singing "baby bumble bee" again.
• the fifth poopy diaper in a row.
• tripping over shoes in the entryway.
• single dirty sock under the couch.
• finding that rotten baby bottle that was tossed behind the crib.
• stinky bathroom drains.
• cleaning the microwave.
• 6 baskets of laundry to fold.
• scary movies.
• snot.
• the sixth poopy diaper in a row. (what have you been eating?!?!)
• crumbs. everywhere.
• stepping on a matchbox car in the middle of the night.
• drool between my toes.
• suckers stuck to the carpet in my car.
• hearing "MOM!" the last time before bed.
• crooked lamps.
• silence (when the kids are NOT sleeping).

Overall, I give thanks for my many blessings in life. But honoring those things that make my blood boil gives me a reason to finish that bottle of wine I have sitting on the counter.

Is this my life?

I am a mom. I have four children. I work. I clean. I cook. I went back to college at 30. What was I thinking?
This is my life. I think. Sometimes I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I forget my kids birthday's (not really, just occasionally when people ask me and expect an answer too quickly). I don't have time to volunteer in my kid's classrooms. I'm too busy, really. I leave dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. Or the counter. Or the table. Whichever has the most surface area at the time. I currently have four baskets of clean laundry in my living room. I would wager I have at least that many full of dirty laundry too. I don't remember the last time I scrubbed the bathroom floors. Actually, I don't remember the last time I saw the bathroom floors. I think they are tile.
I grew up thinking I could do it all. I could be a mother, work, enjoy time with my girlfriends, travel....until I had a child. Then I thought I could still be a mom (afterall, they don't let you give the baby back), work and occasionally enjoy time with my girlfriends. Until baby #2. Now I began to question myself. I can still handle the mom thing (though, now there are more baby bottles in my house than wine bottles...which could be a problem), and I can still manage to squeeze a few hours of gainful employment in there once in a while. Now baby #3 comes along. Well, now I spend most of my time trying to figure out how to just tackle being a mom, let alone all the other wonderful things I used to dream about. Add step-son age 11 (all you middle school moms are nodding) and now...I ask myself "IS THIS MY LIFE?"
What happened to going to Europe? What happened to living in a funky downtown apartment in New York City? What happened to weekend trips to Vegas with the girls? Babies happened. And they ruined my life.